Going into this trip, I realized it would be a liminal phase (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liminality). I did not realize how much of a liminal phase it would be. I already can't recognize myself as the girl who left Missouri 2 1/2 weeks ago. I have learned (well, am learning) to go with the flow. I don't find it necessary to know exactly what is happening at every moment of every day. I have also begun to know my limitations and accept them. This has meant that I have to trust others to help me when I can't do something, which involves admitting that I can't do everything. It is quite liberating.
Being in this liminal state, completely separated from my normal surroundings (I didn't know any of the people I am living with prior to starting this adventure. I don't know the language very well. I don't have internet or electricity most of the time.) has dramatically decreased my desire to blog. While I want to share my experiences in Panama, I don't think now is the best time to do it. Since those reading this are not in my communitas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communitas), I think it would be very difficult to explain what is going on and how it is affecting me.
Per the requirements of the course, I am still going to update this blog occasionally, but I do not think I will reflect on what is going on until after I get back to the states. I am journaling so I do have some record of my trip, but I don't want to share it in this forum. I want to see how it all pans out and then decide the best way to share the information with everyone. I just think these stories will be better in person or with photos and typing them here will cheapen the experience.
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2 comments:
[Sorry--I need to edit something.]
As a blogger/online journaller/journaller in general, I experience a lot of pressure to write everything down, but I feel like life is better when things are so good that there's no good way to write them down; in other words, I understand. Perhaps let the writing be part of your experience, if you feel like making it part of your experience, but don't make your experience your writing? If writing is something you want to do, do it, but don't feel obligated to write about what you think you SHOULD be writing about. Write what is appropriate for you, not for the situation. I feel like putting experiences into words often does them such an injustice, especially when you're trying to squeeze them into entries. I'm glad you are experiencing things so good/interesting that you don't want to write about them. I hope this continues. (And my "advice" is really just support. Do whatever you feel like doing. ^_^)
PS I love reading your blog.
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