More ramblings about Christianity...

So I have been thinking about the Galeano book quite a bit recently (with varying degrees of sobriety), and I have been struck by my reaction to that book and another book I read at the same time The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Open Veins of Latin America, the book by Galeano, describes the oppression and extortion Latin American countries have had to deal with at the hands of Europe and the United States for the past five hundred years. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, have died from overwork on sugar, banana and coffee plantations, or in silver, gold or copper mines to satisfy the demands of foreign investors. Galeano recounts example after example in his book of these atrocities, yet as I was reading it, I was put off by the redundancy of his argument. On the other hand, while reading Guernsey, I was upset by the death of a fictional character.
I am upset that I have developed into a person that can be dismissive of massacres, yet cry over the death of someone who never existed. Is this attitude a product of our society or is it human nature in general? Or both? How do I, as someone who claims to be a Christian, a religion that in its perfect form honors the lives of others above one’s own, end up with this attitude?
One way to understand this phenomenon is from the economic theory of supply and demand. As the world’s population increases, the value of each life is going down. It is hard for a large corporation operating a mine/factory to be persuaded to treat its workers humanely when it really is cheaper to work them to death and hire new ones. I don’t know how to fix this mind set, but it needs to be done.
I was also bothered by my reaction between the two books because it showed me just how inconsistent I am. I loathe inconsistency and to see it so blatant in my life is a huge blow to the ego. I was talking with my friend Nate earlier this weekend about how unequal and unfair the world is. There is always some group that will be trampled on by another group. The pragmatist in me loves the fact that the United States is a world power that dominates everyone else. If someone’s going to be in control, I want it to be me. I want the security of knowing there are resources set aside for me to continue with at least my current standard of living.
That, however, goes completely against the fundamental teaching of my religion/faith (whatever you want to call it). Christianity is based on “Love Jesus; Love others (as Jesus does).” As a Christian, I am called to look outside myself, to be more concerned with the needs of others than I am with my own. If someone’s going to be in control, let it be the other person. I am called to make sure others’ needs are met prior to being concerned about my own. Damn that’s hard. Slash impossible.
I am pretty sure that the majority of the angst in my life is created by the tension between the desire for security, and my desire to live according to the Faith I claim.
But I guess that is what forgiveness is for, eh. Deal with the tension as best you can. Let God take care of the rest.