Hey Friends,

Check it out: The next installment in my world travels

http://helpsendhannatohanoi.wordpress.com/

Vietnam in January?

Possible.


Probable.


maybe?

I has a JOB!

As soon as my drug test results come back.

Song

One of my favorite parts (as well as the most difficult) of my trip to Panama was our time in Santa Marta. Though the language barrier loomed large at the beginning of the trip, through patience and laughter Audra, Courtney and I were able to communicate effectively with our host family. For me the most meaningful night we spent with them was when Marcelina (Chelita) played her guitar and sang a few worship songs she had written for their church. It was incredibly moving for me personally to see God worshipped with the same depth I see in my church family here at home. The truly catholic nature of the Christian church began to sink in for me last year when I visited Jerusalem and hearing Chelita singing praises to God with us strengthened that observation.

Chelita wrote down the songs she sang for us as a memento of the time we spent with their family. I would like to share them with you.

El Propósito de Dios

Alguna vez te has preguntado
Cual es el proposito de Dios, para tu vida
Alguna vez te has preguntado
En tus dificultades, quien te dá la salida
Cuando miras la naturaleza
Sabes que no pudo hacerse al azar
Cuando observas las estrellas
Piensas que salas no pueden alumbrar

Dios ha pensado en tí, antes de la creación del mundo
Dios siempre te ha amado, con amor profundo
Dios ha estado contigo, en todos los momentos de la vida
Y en las problemas te da la salida

Todo lo que Dios ha creado
Es para que lo puedas disfrutar
Y los nando mientas que ha dado
Es para que puedas tu vida guiar
Su propósito ha sido, es y siempre será
Que gozemos de la vida
Más allí, en la eternidad

(The other to come soon.)

So last night I read Mornings in Jenin by Susan Abulhawa. If you are at all interested in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, you should read it too.

I am a college graduate.

I have no job.

I have no boyfriend.

I am not in Panama anymore.

LOST is over.

I guess it time for me to get a life...

Panama: Day 1

Well Friends,

It is time to start my day by day blogging about Panama. This will probably go the way of my Israel blog posts and only be updated about once a month or so. But I will at least get started.

Day Zero: February 15

After a fun-filled weekend watching my sister play basketball during the St. Charles tournament, I returned home and packed for Panama. I was not able to fit all of my things into one bag, so I had to search the house for a good sized duffle bag. I found one and soon after had my bags packed a ready to go.

The evening of February 15, I began my travels by boarding a train bound for Kirkwood, MO. It was quite fun trying to deal with a hiking backpack, a large duffle bag, and a small personal bag filled with everything I needed for two months in Panama. Fortunately, there were not too many people on the train so I was able to put my backpack in the seat next to me instead of in the overhead compartment. I wouldn’t have been able to lift it high enough to put it there anyway…

I arrived at Kirkwood on time, surprisingly. My grandmother was there to meet me, and we drove to her house. Since she had to get to me to the airport by 4 a.m. the next day, we did not stay up too late.

I awoke not-so-bright-but-very-early the next day. We drove to the airport. I was freezing since I was dressed for the tropics where it is not as cold as it is in Mid-February Missouri. When we got to the airport, Grandma walked me to the American Airlines check in point. Since it was early, she left as soon as I saw someone I knew waiting in line.

The check-in line didn’t open until 4:30 so I spent about 15 minutes waiting for it to open up. Once it did, I got my tickets and headed for the security lines. I was feeling pretty confident since it had been less than a year since I had traveled internationally, so I actually remember what I was supposed to do. A few of the people who had never flown before were uncertain about what they were allowed to bring in their carry-on luggage, but eventually they got every thing figured out and we boarded the plane.

We flew to either the Atlanta or Miami Airport (I don’t remember which…). It was a pretty short layover. The only exciting thing was that we lost Ethan for a little while, and we were a little concerned that he might miss the plane. We managed to find him, though, and everyone in our group made it onto the plane.

We landed in Panama City. That was pretty exciting. Getting through the airport was easy. We met up with the people from KC. They had arrived the day before. Julie gave us sandwiches. We got on a bus. We drove to La MICA. Then the real fun began.

The sun was beginning to set when we arrived so they wanted us to hurry getting to the station so we would not have to walk the trail in the dark. (A darn fine thing I didn’t have to walk in the dark that day. I probably would have gone home.) We started walking, and since this was my first introduction to the trail, plus I wasn’t in super good shape, plus I was dehydrated, plus I kept thinking about the fact that I was going to have to walk this trail if I wanted to go anywhere, I wasn’t particularly happy. To be completely accurate, I was a little freaked out. I was proud that I didn’t have a panic attack, but I was very close.

Things didn’t get much better once we got to the station. We had dinner, chose our beds, put up our mosquito nets, and then we had to turn the generator off because they were short on gasoline due to Carnival. So it was 9 p.m., and I was stuck in the middle of the tropical dry forest in the dark.

I could go into more detail, but I really don’t like thinking about it. I wasn’t really having a good time. Fortunately that changed, and I did enjoy my time in Panama.

I dislike job searching.

Reflections of a Recent College Grad: Part I

I graduated last Saturday after a week and a half of no responsibility. It was every college students dream. Finally, a chance to be in college without that pesky homework to work on. My choices were sometimes less than responsible, so I will spare you the details, but I don’t regret anything I did. I got a chance to get to know some people I hadn’t met before (despite that fact that we had a plethora of mutual friends). I am grateful for the time I got to spend with them and with the friends that are now much better described as family (wow, that was sappy…).

Having the opportunity to live the irresponsible life for a while has given me much more to think about as I reflect on my college experience. I am trying to avoid what-ifs and regrets about things I did not do and instead concentrate on the positive reality of what I did do. Most of these what-if scenarios revolve around people I have met during the past two weeks (or knew before, but not as well). I am sad about missed opportunities to hang out over the past four years, but I am trying to remind myself that we are made of our experiences. Had things happened differently, I would be a different person. At this point in my life, I am actually pretty content with myself, so I am trusting that it was for the best that these people did not come into my life until now. After all, it could have been worse. I might not have met them at all.

Presentation Days

Our class has been finishing up our projects by presenting our research during yesterday and today. It has been really awesome hearing what everyone has done (even though we lived these projects for two months).

Good Job Everyone!

To check out some Panama Pictures go to

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2040717&id=1308540045&l=67e6974d8d

My last day of class.

I attended my last day of class as an undergraduate today. It did not feel as monumental as I was expecting. Perhaps that is because instead of sharing this feeling with a large group of others, I only have 2 other people in the same situation. Well, in a week and a day more of my friends shall join me in the "We're done with undergrad classes!" category.

In other news, I am looking forward to reading everyone's submissions for our JINS book. Also, I am applying for an internship in Montana. It doesn't pay, so I don't know if it will work out for me. But we'll see, I guess. No harm in applying.

ISRAEL POST! (8 June 2009)

It is always amusing to look back and see what I thought was important to record.

June 8
Joan left so we no longer had two people on breakfast duty. Elizabeth asked me if I would cover breakfast that day, so I did. I listened to music while I cut bread, tomatoes and cucumbers. Listened to Oklahoma and then to Jesus Christ Superstar (very appropriate given the location). We split into two groups for breakfast because we had so many people. I only helped through the first group. (Last time Truman was there they had to split into different eating groups because they didn’t get along.)
Elizabeth taught us “Waltzing Matilda.” We sang “Run, Rabbit” and “Henry VIII.” I got complimented on my singing voice. That was nice.
I don’t remember where Elizabeth took us on our adventure that day.
Went swimming in the Sea of Galilee after lunch. Finn and Collette were there. Nic played whale/shark with Finn. It was fun to watch. Nic got melon with a couple of Kibbutzniks, and then Amber, Lauren, Nic and I talked to them for a while. After that I went back to my room and sat outside and talked with a few people. Another Kibbutznik named Daniel came by and talked to us for a while. He knew the owner of the Pub/ could get it opened for us so we asked him to open it up earlier for us so he said he could get it opened at 9:30.
Dr. Appold gave the evening lecture that day. It was originally going to be outside the dorms, so I went and set up all the chairs. Then the location changed to the roof… because it was cooler there.

So since I have returned from Panama I realize that I have lost or forgotten the location of many of the things I used everyday prior to my trip. Every once in a while I will stumble upon them as I am going through things in my room. Because of this, it does not usually bother me too much if I can't find something. I know it will eventually show up. There is one situation, however, where this did not hold true.

When I returned to the States, it was the beginning of spring time. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, the trees and flowers were budding and the pollen was flying. This created a need to break out the Kleenex/Puffs/Generic Store Brand Tissues. When I was finished blowing my nose, I looked over in the corner of my room to see that my trash can was missing. This confused me greatly because I knew I could not have misplaced it. It never gets moved; I just take the bag out and then reline the can rather than taking the entire can out to the dumpster. I was quite perturbed because I had no idea what could have happened to it. I didn't think anyone would have taken it since everyone has their own trashcans, and there was no way I could have misplaced it.

I was determined to solve the mystery so I ask the members of my household if they knew the whereabouts of my trashcan. I discovered that a to-remain-nameless individual had stolen my trashcan and was using it in the basement. My sister ran downstairs and brought it to the family room. "I found your trashcan," she told me triumphantly, right before she dropped it on the floor and broke it.

So now I have no trashcan.

I saved the life of an Ant today.

A brief story to demonstrate how going to Panama changed my life.

This evening I was sitting in my living room with my housemates when one of them saw an insect running on the floor. She exclaimed, "There's a bug on the floor! There's a bug on the floor!" I said, "It's okay" and moved from my chair to look at it more closely. She said, "Kill it! Kill it!" I replied, "It's an Ant!" She said, "Kill it!" I said, "How about I pick it up and take it outside."

Then I let it crawl on my hand, and I took it outside and set it free.

Back to my other home

Welcome back to Truman! It’s been uber-awesome so far (please ignore the fact that I have only been back to 1 ½ hours…) In that small amount of time I have:
1.) Had a three minute hug from one of my housemates
2.) Snuck up on 3 people in the library who did not know I was back
3.) Helped a housemate try to take a picture underwater with a camera that is not waterproof…
4.) Had 3 dinner invitations and scheduled 1 lunch date

Plus the weather is freaking awesome!!! And I graduate super soon! Hooray for life :)

Books I read while I was gone

After glancing through my previous blog posts, I noticed the list I made of books I took with me to Panama. Here is the list of books I read while I was gone.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Dune
½ of Ivanhoe
Paradise Lost
The Beak of the Finch
The Never Ending Story
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
Rebecca
The Cave
Siddhartha
Prey

One of the things I love best about my classmates for the Panama trip is that everyone who has mentioned me in their blogs has spelled my name correctly. I appreciate that.
Thanks team.

I really enjoy when people comment on my blog. It makes me feel like I am doing someting useful. Feel free to let me know what you think of what I am doing.

Love,
Hanna

Fear is the mind-killer...

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
- Dune by Frank Herbert.

This quote has popped into my head many, many times during this trip (and not only because I have just finished reading that book). I have done so many things that used to (and still do on some levels) scare me a lot. This past week especially forced me to face several things that terrify me.

First of all, we spent the week in Santa Marta, a small community about a 40 minute chiva (a pick up truck with benches in the back) ride away from Cope. When we got there, we were split into groups and assigned to families. I was placed in a house with Audra and Courtney. Audra studied Spanish in high school, but Courtney has only had a semester’s worth of Spanish. I have had five years, but it has been forever since I have had to use it. I was super scared that we were not going to be able to communicate with our family because they didn’t speak any English. The first night was a little awkward, but after that everything went super well. The family we were placed with, a father (Adonio Rodriguez), mother (Marcelina Arrocha), 25 year old daughter (Marcelina Elena Rodriguez) and a grandma (Elena Sanches), were super patient with us. They spoke slowly and waited while the three of us tried to formulate coherent Spanish sentences.

The first full day we were there, we hiked up to see the remnants of Omar Torrijos’s plane. It was a super intense hike. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it all the way to the top. But I did. It was not worth it. The hike back down was pretty awesome. Plus while I was at the top, my family gave Audra, Courtney and I tea! I finally got to have tea on top of a mountain. There were no Bedouins, but I was still excited.

The next day was the roughest day I have had here in Panama. I felt incredibly useless. I spent the morning volunteering at the school, but I was put into a classroom full of 26 fifth graders with no teacher, no lesson plan and no Spanish… I lost their attention pretty quickly, but I was amazed with how well behaved the kids were. They weren’t paying attention to me, but they stayed in their desks and talked quietly among themselves. There is no way that would happen in the States. After that, I walked with Joey up to meet another group of students who was doing work at the community’s water source. I was expecting a short 5 minute walk, but after 45 minutes of hiking up hill (the day after I climbed a mountain), I hit my breaking point. I was exhausted and tired of walking. Joey and I decided to wait for the rest of the group to go back, but apparently they went a different way so we ended up waiting for much longer than we needed to. That afternoon, we played soccer against the kids. I didn’t play because I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, but it was fun to watch.

The next day was much better. We walked to a couple of waterfalls that are close to the community. I only walked to the first one, because I was still drained from the previous two days of walking. It was really awesome. I swam behind it! That was kind of scary because I don’t swim very often so I am not very good at it. It was another one of those moments where I had to trust people (which I hate doing), but I panicked about half way there and Will had to help me get the rest of the way. I made it though, and it was awesome!

The Santa Marta trip, like the rest of this experience, was both extremely good and extremely terrifying (never really bad… but uncomfortable). I loved spending time with my ‘family,’ but seeing the amount and type of work that they do every day made me feel little bit worthless. I realize more and more on this trip that I can’t really do anything useful. It is a little bit sad, and makes trying to decide what to do with my life extremely difficult. It’s hard to find something to be passionate about if you don’t feel like you can do anything. I’m really excited for my friends because they are getting jobs and going to grad school, but I kind of feel stuck right now. Que Triste…

The expression "to write something down" suggests a descent of thought to the fingers whose movements immediately falsify it. ~William Gass

Going into this trip, I realized it would be a liminal phase (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liminality). I did not realize how much of a liminal phase it would be. I already can't recognize myself as the girl who left Missouri 2 1/2 weeks ago. I have learned (well, am learning) to go with the flow. I don't find it necessary to know exactly what is happening at every moment of every day. I have also begun to know my limitations and accept them. This has meant that I have to trust others to help me when I can't do something, which involves admitting that I can't do everything. It is quite liberating.
Being in this liminal state, completely separated from my normal surroundings (I didn't know any of the people I am living with prior to starting this adventure. I don't know the language very well. I don't have internet or electricity most of the time.) has dramatically decreased my desire to blog. While I want to share my experiences in Panama, I don't think now is the best time to do it. Since those reading this are not in my communitas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communitas), I think it would be very difficult to explain what is going on and how it is affecting me.
Per the requirements of the course, I am still going to update this blog occasionally, but I do not think I will reflect on what is going on until after I get back to the states. I am journaling so I do have some record of my trip, but I don't want to share it in this forum. I want to see how it all pans out and then decide the best way to share the information with everyone. I just think these stories will be better in person or with photos and typing them here will cheapen the experience.

A Dios Mio

I am extremely way out of my comfort zone right now. It is unpleasant. Fortuneately, everyone on this trip is very understanding and willing to help out as much as they can to make things more comfortable. It has been a challenge because I don´t like to rely on other people, but I have been working on getting over that.

I am not in control of anything that is happening on this trip, and that is driving me nuts. I have been presented with lots of situations where I can´t change what is going on, and I just have to deal. For example, it has been raining a ton here the past couple of days, which makes everything super muddy. I hate it because everything is dirty, none of my clothes are dry and I am afraid of slipping down the side of the mountain everytime I have to go to the bathroom. But I can´t control the weather so I put up with it.

Panama - I walk a lot here

So the nearest internet access to where I am staying in Panama is a 30 minute walk plus a 40 minute bus ride away. This is annoying because I have not been able to watch LOST, but also awesome because I haven´t been concerned with being on the internet. I just concentrate on enjoying the beauty of God creation around me. I think this blog will end up being like the one in Israel where most of the updates will happen 6 months to a year after the trip is over...

Um, So I am here...

Panama is absolutely nothing like what I expected. I don't think I can do it justice in a blog post, but I will do my best.

To get to the research station where we are staying, we walk down a 1/4 mile trail. It is pretty rough, especially since I am out of shape (that particular problem shouldn't last too long...). I freaked out a little when I first got there because the station is built on the side of a mountain, and everything was a little steeper than what I imagined. I was also dehydrated and feeling a little light headed so I was convinced I was going to fall down the side of the mountain and be dead forever. But I survived.

Yesterday we toured El Cope, the town close to where we are staying. We walked, and it was long and hot. The weather is comparable to MO in July except with more rain. After touring El Cope, we went up to the park where most people will be working on their research. It is in a cloud forest so it was cloudy and rainy up there. I saw a sloth! I was super-excited because sloths have been my favorite animal since I was in second grade.

Overall, I think this is simultaneously the best and worst experience of my life. Stay tuned for more, though I don't know how soon because I don't know how often I will have internet.

Mucho Amor!

"And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer"

So I have finally hit the point where I am not updating daily. This will continue since it turns out our internet access is a little more limited than we thought. That will be okay though. It will be nice not to rely on technology/communication quite so much.

The past couple of days have been filled with packing and last minute shopping. It is strange trying to decide what I need for the next two months and fitting into one hiking backpack and a carry-on. I may end up taking another bag since I can have two checked bags. I am taking the train to St. Louis Monday night; however, and I am not sure if I want to try to keep track of an extra bag on the train.

The plus side to an extra checked bag is that I could move some of my books out of my carry-on. I have 9 books so far, and there are sooooo many more I want to take. But I don’t have space :(
Here is my book list:
Spanish Verbs
Spanish Grammar
Spanish-English Dictionary
Beak of the Finch
Dune
Ivanhoe
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Bible
And my protection against Marc’s liberal ideas…




I wanted to read St. Augustine’s Confessions, but I wasn’t able to find a used copy in Jefferson City. Just as well. It doesn’t seem like I would have space for it. Que Lastima.

"No, I am not a zombie"

I love LOST.

Falafel is delicious.

I should be working on my bio test instead of watching the food network.

I had a really profound comment about our JINS discussion today, but I forgot it.

There was one time I was practicing facepainting, and I tried to make Saturn, but it turned into a Poké Ball.

More ramblings about Christianity...

So I have been thinking about the Galeano book quite a bit recently (with varying degrees of sobriety), and I have been struck by my reaction to that book and another book I read at the same time The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Open Veins of Latin America, the book by Galeano, describes the oppression and extortion Latin American countries have had to deal with at the hands of Europe and the United States for the past five hundred years. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, have died from overwork on sugar, banana and coffee plantations, or in silver, gold or copper mines to satisfy the demands of foreign investors. Galeano recounts example after example in his book of these atrocities, yet as I was reading it, I was put off by the redundancy of his argument. On the other hand, while reading Guernsey, I was upset by the death of a fictional character.
I am upset that I have developed into a person that can be dismissive of massacres, yet cry over the death of someone who never existed. Is this attitude a product of our society or is it human nature in general? Or both? How do I, as someone who claims to be a Christian, a religion that in its perfect form honors the lives of others above one’s own, end up with this attitude?
One way to understand this phenomenon is from the economic theory of supply and demand. As the world’s population increases, the value of each life is going down. It is hard for a large corporation operating a mine/factory to be persuaded to treat its workers humanely when it really is cheaper to work them to death and hire new ones. I don’t know how to fix this mind set, but it needs to be done.
I was also bothered by my reaction between the two books because it showed me just how inconsistent I am. I loathe inconsistency and to see it so blatant in my life is a huge blow to the ego. I was talking with my friend Nate earlier this weekend about how unequal and unfair the world is. There is always some group that will be trampled on by another group. The pragmatist in me loves the fact that the United States is a world power that dominates everyone else. If someone’s going to be in control, I want it to be me. I want the security of knowing there are resources set aside for me to continue with at least my current standard of living.
That, however, goes completely against the fundamental teaching of my religion/faith (whatever you want to call it). Christianity is based on “Love Jesus; Love others (as Jesus does).” As a Christian, I am called to look outside myself, to be more concerned with the needs of others than I am with my own. If someone’s going to be in control, let it be the other person. I am called to make sure others’ needs are met prior to being concerned about my own. Damn that’s hard. Slash impossible.
I am pretty sure that the majority of the angst in my life is created by the tension between the desire for security, and my desire to live according to the Faith I claim.
But I guess that is what forgiveness is for, eh. Deal with the tension as best you can. Let God take care of the rest.

June 7
A very good day. I was in a much better mood then I had been in the day before. Our first stop was Acco, a port city on the coast of the Mediterranean. Several famous people are associated with this town. Paul stayed here for a day, the knight’s templar ran a hospital, Marco Polo, saint Francis of Assisi and Napoleon were also associated with the city.
We got there and started walking towards the city. Some kid was walking past us and hit me on the leg with a tennis ball… I was in the lead because not very many of the people in our group walk as fast as I do. So I was out in front of everyone for a while. We stopped by this scenic outlook area that was pretty cool. There were ramparts. I ran up the part that was for the horses. THEN I SAW THE MEDITERRANEAN! It was beautiful. We walked up on the wall where we weren’t supposed to be. (Dr. Appold is pretty cool about letting us do what we want at places like this. Pretty sure he got up on the wall too. He didn’t cross over into Lebanon though).




After climbing on those walls and looking over the city and the Sea we moved closer to the sea and ran around/climbing on the rocks and this large whale (Jonah’s whale). It was fun, and I touched the Mediterranean. It was quite exciting. We relaxed over there for a while before heading to walk through the Knight’s Templar Tunnel. After that we walked through the town for a while until we got to another look out point where we had a short worship service. We wanted to leave shortly after that, but Nick had wondered off so we had to go look for him… As we were leaving, Nate led us down some very good interesting streets. I wanted to stop and look at the markets, but we couldn’t because we were in a hurry.



After that we drove to Zefat – interesting driving habits in the Middle East. They tend to make a third lane whenever they need to pass someone. It is fun to watch as long as I don’t have to drive.
Anyway, we got to Zefat where we got our first chance to walk around on our own. Laura Beth, Heidi and I walked around a bit before sitting down at a little falafel café for drinks and ice cream. Justin joined us and then a few others meandered in and out. A different group met this artist from Russia which was apparently pretty interesting.
After we left Zefat we went to Hatzor – It was a city-state during Joshua’s time. It was pretty cool. There was a dog that followed us around. The views were spectacular. I climbed a tree, then Laura Beth and Heidi joined us and I joked about defeating the people under the other tree. Justin was the first person to come over to where we were, which made my joke slightly funnier. He used to be in the army, and there is no way I could have taken him out…

Hmmm, so I haven't updated for the past couple of days. They haven't been very productive.

I realized exactly how nerdy this group of people going to Panama is Thursday night. I went out to the bars with a couple of my friends and ran into Dan, Stacy and Joey at Wrongdaddy's. There we were, in a bar, dancing in a crowd of drunk, white people and what was our topic of conversation? Oh, yes. That's right. Eduardo Galeano's book that we read for class. Marc, I hope you appreciate how dedicated we are to your class.

Going out Thursday night resulted in an extremely unproductive Friday. I did get my application for History Departmental Honors turned in, went to a Bio Seminary as a requirement for Bio 100 (I only understood about 10% of what the guy was saying...) and practiced packing, but I didn't get started on any of my reading/writing homework. Packing is difficult because I am trying to fit everything into one bag, and it is just not quite fitting. I need to find out how far we have to carry our things because I may have to give up and take another bag.

Destiny, Destiny, No escaping that for me.

So being my normal, overachieving self, I decided I needed another blog post today to make up for not writing one yesterday. I wasn’t really feeling up to writing about today earlier because it hasn’t been super-great, but I just got back from eating dinner with the lovely Sarah Bell who helped me realize the funny side of today.

I lived in Campbell last semester, and since I am a history major, most of my classes were in McClain and Baldwin. Those two buildings are on the other side of campus, for those who are unfamiliar with Truman. Truman is not a large school, but I still allowed about 15 minutes to walk to class and get a good seat. This semester, I have moved to the Lutheran House, which is closer to campus than Campbell Apartments. My classes are now in Magruder and Violette Hall which are only about a 5-6 minute walk away from my house. Since I haven’t gotten used to having a shorter walk, I have continually arrived way too early for my classes this semester. This morning, however, I decided that was not going to happen. I was going to be intentionally late for class. (This is big for me. I used to have nightmares about being late for class.) I waited until 8:55 to leave for Magruder. I walked slowly across the street and along the side walks. I checked my watch as I walked by Violette Hall, and it said 8:59. The overachiever in me started to get very anxious at that point because I knew I wasn’t going to be on time (I was still about 2 minutes away from the classroom and class starts at 9). I was worried that perhaps I had just picked the wrong day to be late; Chad would be in a bad mood for some reason and get mad at me. I walked more quickly as I got into Magruder. I turned to walk down the hall and as I got closer to room 2078, I noticed the lights were off. “Oh my gosh,” I thought, “I am later than I thought, and they started without me.” I came up to the doorway of the classroom, feeling anxious about being late, but also a little proud for finally being the last student to show up to a class. I walked in to find…



Chad standing by the computer in an otherwise empty classroom. I really shouldn’t try to fight destiny. I will always be early.

And that was just the beginning. Today was probably the worst day I have had in Biology. It was so hard to stay motivated. First of all, I didn’t have a chance to eat breakfast in my mad dash to be late for class so I was quite hungry during class today. Our lecture topic: food webs.


Also, Kudos to you if you can name the movie my title came from.

Sorry to anyone who might read this everyday. I missed updating yesterday because it was busy. So, this will just have to be a really long post...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Wednesday morning was quite productive. I am getting super hyped up about this trip, which has made it difficult for me to sleep recently. So I woke up at 5:45 yesterday. There was a small bright side to this because I was able to finish writing most of my paper by 8:30 that morning.

We didn't do too much in class that day; everyone described how their project was coming along. Blah, blah, blah: the projects are interesting. This post is not. Let me shift gears.

I got my hair cut yesterday! I was able to donate 8 inches to whatever place they send hair off to (I think it was Pantene. Locks of Love only takes 10 inches or longer). I was a little sad to get it cut since I have been growing it out for 3 years, but it will be easier to manage while I am in Panama.



Other fun stuff, my birthday party is this weekend. We're going roller skating at Leisure World. 4:30-6:30. It's $4. You are welcome to come. Tell your friends.

LOST starts Tonight!!!!

I am way excited because LOST, the greatest show ever, starts its final season tonight. I am very sad that I will be out of the country for most of the season. I sincerely hope I will have a good enough internet connection to be able to watch it from Panama. AHHHH! I love Lost.

I started the day with my other love, Heroes. It was the penultimate episode and I am glad I will be in the States for the Finale, which is on my Birthday.

Whenever I take the time to think about it, I think that it is super-funny that I watch so much T.V. in college. I didn't watch anything other than JEOPARDY! and the news every once in a while when I was in high school (though in grade school I watched Wishbone and Where in Time is Carmen San Diego.) I wonder if this is a common phenomenon. I remember talking to my ex-boyfriend's mom about a situation like this. She drinks a lot of soda and she said her habit started because her parents didn't keep soda in the house when she was growing up. When she got to college, the soda was free and limitless in the dining hall so she drank it all the time and continues to. I think it is the same for me because I don't have cable at home and it is available all the time here, and I watch it all the time now. I waste sooo much time...

Did anyone else have something similar happen to them? You should comment even if you didn't because I want to know who is actually reading this...

Anyway, back to the start of our day. In Bio we presented our powerpoint to our audience of one. Chad seemed to like it even though I don't think we actually did the assignment correctly. We talked about communities and the interaction between species. We also got to draw pictures! Of squirrels. on the chalk board.

After Bio, I met with my ENVS group to discuss our Advertising for La MICA project. We met with Dr. Yaquinto who has lots of good ideas. I for one, am a little overwhelmed, but I am sure everything will work out. I'll post updates about that as soon as I can.

I took the day off from History today and was annoyed with myself for feeling guilty because I am not even enrolled in that class... I got there in time for JINS, though, which is good because I am in that class. Courtney and I discussed how Chad is ill-prepared to survive a Zombie-apocalypse since he does not keep food in his house. (not to mention is how isn't Zombie proof. There isn't anything to slow them down since it is all one level and not on a hill. Not that Zombies go that fast anyway...) Chad's response was that he would eat the Zombies. I have never thought of that before. Can you eat Zombies? They're rotting, and I can't imagine they would taste very good. Thoughts? (Has anyone read the Zombie Survival Guide? My dad has it, but I haven't read it yet.)

Lost starts in like two hours! Maybe I will start on my JINS paper to pass the time.

The Fab Five

So this evening I met with my entire Bio 100 class (of 5 people) to put together a powerpoint regarding LTER or something along those lines. It was fun.
Here's a peek at how it turned out...




Working on the presentation with people who knew what they were doing made up for having to deal with OBTUSE, IDIOT MAN at Lens Mart today. Oh my goodness that man is incompetent. I am trying to remind myself that he is a Beloved Child of God, and that I should keep my ranting to a minimum (cue eye-roll).

"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" - Ghandi

A continuation/follow up on my previous religious discussion.

I have been thinking about writing this post for a couple of days now; I just never got around to it. The sermon at church today, however, inspired me enough to prompt it.

Over the past couple of years, I have been focused too much on what I didn't have. I got so frustrated over this point that I all but quit being Christian. I went to church only because I felt obligated, but I didn't participate in any of the outside activities that make up a Christian lifestyle. I avoided my Christian friends, I didn't pray, didn't read the Bible. I gave up on God because he didn't give me what I wanted.

I missed the point of Christianity completely.

During the past few days,however, I have been reminded of what it means to be a Christian. A friend of my from middle school posted a facebook note that discussed spiritual deepness. His observation was that there really isn't spiritual deepness to the Bible, but rather a simple command that can be summed up in two lines ""Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" and "Love your neighbor as yourself."

What exactly does loving your neighbor mean? It means being concerned with their wellbeing over your own. It means not letting resentment get in the way of serving others. It means not judging someone's life decision or excluding them because of how they chose to live. It means seeing people as God's image and treating them accordingly. See Christ in others; Be Christ to others.

It's time for me to remember that point and act on it.

I came across this picture in my Jerusalem album today. I thought it was pretty so I decided to share it.

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world. - Al Franken

Today was pretty good day. I drove home in the morning and came home to an empty house. This surprised me because even if mom was out, Daisy (our dog) should have been at home. Turns out Mom had taken Daisy to the vet because she has pancreatitis. The vet has her on an IV, and hopefully she will get better soon and come home.

Once I found out all this was going on, I ran some errands. I renewed my licence so I finally have one that does not have the "under 21 until" stamp on it. Woohoo big girl licence :). After that I was able to finally go pick up my new glasses. (I say finally because I should have had them 3 weeks ago, but the people at the store were somewhat incompetent. They got my prescription wrong and chipped the glasses frames so they had to order new lenses and new frames.)

After that I went home and worked on my portfolio for Truman. Not going to lie, that is kind of a ridiculous waste of time. At least on my part. I hope something good comes out of it for someone...

The rest of the day I have spent trying to get stuff together for this trip. I made a shopping list, which somehow seems to get longer and longer as I buy more things. I need to sit down and really think about what I need for this trip so I don't end up taking too much. Easier said than done.

My take on our JINS discussion

This post is more about England in the 1500s and less (not at all) about Panama. But there is some Biology stuff at the end...

Today we talked about an article by Jan Knippers Black entitled "Introduction: Understanding the Persistence of Inequality." Her main point was that there are three basic ideas about why Latin America is so poor. The first is the Corporatism theory which places blame on the Iberians who colonized Latin America. The argument which we discussed in class said that it was the Spanish and the Portuguese who were responsible for introducing the hierarchical social structure that resulted in the exploitation of the poor. We compared Spain and England's governing and religious policies. I have issue with the idea of calling England a protestant country. When Columbus got to the Americas, England was still very much a Catholic country. It did not split from Rome until 1534 for issues more complex than just Henry VIII wanting a new wife. First of all, he wanted a son for a legit reason. England had very recently come out of a civil war. Henry had no legitimate son, a problem because up until that time in history England had no example of a woman successfully inheriting the throne. The only time a woman had inherited, there was a huge civil war between Matilda and Stephen. Henry wanted to avoid that at all costs. Creating the chance for a son was not Henry's only motivation for cutting ties with Rome when the opportunity arose. Henry also wanted more control over his own country and its wealth. When Henry split from the Catholic Church, the hierarchical structure was still very much in place; the difference was that the king was now the head of the Church and not the pope. This is an important point because we discussed that it was the hierarchical structure in Spain that created the problems in Latin America and if England had colonized it, that wouldn't be a problem and they wouldn't be as poor. I disagree for a couple of reasons. One, for the reason explained above. England was very much hierarchical so the same thing may have happened. Two, for the most part we seemed to be using the United States as an example of what happens to a British colony. The U.S. was hardly the only British colony and if we look at the examples of Ghana (which was briefly mentioned in class) and India we see two places that were colonized by Britain but still remain poor. I didn't really have enough a problem with either of the other two to discuss them more in depth. Part of this was also to show off my knowledge of Henry's split with Rome. It's a topic I have studied a lot over the years so I like to talk about it when possible.

Bio Lecture today was a little depressing. We talked about the carrying capacity for humans on the earth and discussed all of the horrible things we are doing to the earth. What stuck out to me most was that male sperm count is down in the U.S. because women taking birth control pills urinate out some of the extra hormones/chemicals from those pills which doesn't get filtered out in the water purification process. So men end up drinking it and have fewer sperm because they have extra feminine hormones. We also talked about how the Aral Sea has pretty much disappeared and how the Sea of Galilee is going to become a salt water lake if they don't start working to conserve water.

Yesterday, all my troubles seem so far away

I didn't get around to writing a post yesterday because
1. I was too busy working on my AWESOME JINS paper
2. I listened to a lecture on ESL in our FABULOUS ENVS class
3. I participated in our FANTASTIC Bio Lab
4. I attended the STUPENDOUS potluck at Chad's house
(I am using lots of adjective here because I am not supposed to use in the VERY FIRST LAB REPORT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN that I will be writing soon/eventually.)(Also I am hyper because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night so I am trying to keep myself awake.)(And I do not use caffeine so I cannot rely on that to help me stay awake.)

Yesterday is pretty much outlined in the list above, but those who would like more detail keep reading.

1. My JINS paper is not that good. But I did work on it because I am an overachiever and I work ahead like that.

2. Dr. Sally Cook came to talk to our class about the challenges of ESL (english as a second language) teaching. I was surprised about how little Spanish she said we would need to know in order to interact with the kids at the school. Even though they don't know a lot (if any) English at this point, if they know that we know Spanish, they will use it as a crutch and not learn as much. Looking back at my experience learning Spanish, I can understand how that would happen. She also talked about how after a couple of weeks working with a student, we may notice a backslide in their learning. She said that is normal, and I think that is something that should be told to high school Spanish teachers...

3. Lab was way more fun yesterday then it was the first time we did it. The procedure was similar (read exactly the same) as last time so we all knew what we were doing. Since we all knew what was going on, we were able to talk a lot more which was fun because I got to know the people in that class a lot better. We shared stories about high school, college and mutual acquaintances. I enjoy Bio Lab and Lecture more than the other classes because it is so small (we have 5 people). It makes group work really easy, and everything is laid back.

4. We had a potluck last night so we could get to know everyone better. Fantastic idea. It was so much fun, and it was great to interact with people outside of the classroom. The conversations varied from coolest places we have been (which included Italy, Spain, Ireland, Israel etc.), pop culture (Avatar, South Park, blogging and facebook) to ants mating (apparently all ants mate while flying. Betcha didn't know that. Unless you are Will Petry.) We also tried to guess Marc and Chad's ages. Someone guessed 55 for Marc and Chad just laughed, so I'm pretty sure they were wrong. (I checked facebook and he graduated from high school in 1980, which makes him about 47. (Chad is 37, if I remember correctly, if anyone wanted to know.) Eventually numbers dwindled down until there were about 10 of us left. Then Chad started to tell us about times he was bitten by things like black widow spiders and 14 ft. long snakes. Yep, definitely an interesting evening.

So I could be working on an Essay...

Or I could update my blog.

Yesterday, Angie and I met with Marc to finalize our idea for our project and iron out details of asking for permission to work on the dig/use images from the Archeological Park etc. It was a productive meeting, and I feel like I have a much better idea of what our project actually is and who will benefit. I had been a little confused about the logistics of who controlled what at the site where we are working. Apparently at this park there is a museum and an already excavated site that are open for the public. Over to the side of the park, there is a NatGeo funded dig. NatGeo is extremely jealous of the information it gathers so the finds from the dig are going to be pretty hush-hush until they are ready to publish. The pamphlet that Angie and I are putting together will only include information from the museum.

That evening I met with my Bio class (all five of us) to design a lab for Wednesday. We are comparing tyrosinase and DOPA reaction rates in Apples, Bananas and Avocados at room temperature and kept cool. Yep. That will be lab...

Bio lecture was pretty interesting this morning. We learned about cowbirds, an invasive species of bird that takes over the nests of other birds, knocks the original eggs out of the nest and replaces them with their eggs. Then the other bird parents end up raising the cowbirds young as their own. The study we were looking at involved warblers, I want to say. They were 1/2 the size of the cowbirds, so they were not able to keep up with the nutrient demand of the cowbird and their own health. There population was declining so some biologist did some biological stuff and fixed the problem (if you want technical details, let me know, and I will get those to you).

In History/JINS we finished up the discipline presentations. Again, it was cool to see what other people are studying, why and how. We also managed to waste quite a bit of time talking about our blogs and finals. I think there's a possibility we're going to try to publish a book about this trip as a class, but I don't know if that was actually decided. We'll see...

In other news, I got a very early (2 weeks early) birthday present today. My friend Tony sent me a Yale shoot glass :). I was pretty excited because I bought him a Truman shot glass for his 21st birthday in September and then realized I didn't actually own a shot glass myself. But now I do, and it is prestigious. Also, we are having a potluck tomorrow to get to know each other a little better. That will be fun.

Blast, I am now out of stuff to say so it is off to work on my scintillating essay.

I read a lot today. It was unpleasant. My brain is fried.

I love four day weekends

So, I had another 4 day weekend this week. It was lovely. It is so nice not to stress about stuff on Sunday night. On the other hand, I have never hated Tuesday mornings this much before.
This weekend was pretty productive. Not as much as I would have hoped, but that is life. Friday, Angie and I met with my friend Megan to see how University Publications could help us with our projects. They gave us some really good tips about asking for permission about using images. Really important and not something I would have thought of. My plan for Saturday was to read the articles for JINS, but I could not motivate myself to do that so I worked on my Portfolio for graduation instead. Hopefully, I will get around to reading tomorrow…
I’ve been thinking about this trip a lot recently, more specifically how this trip is going to have such a different focus from other trips I have been on. Most of the time when I travel, there is a religious aspect to the trip somewhere. My travel in the U.S. has been with my youth group as we participate in service work camps. When I went to Costa Rica I was with a group of people from a Catholic high school. And when I was in Israel, well it was Israel. Religion is kinda big there. And everyone in our group except one was a Christian. This trip will definitely have a different flavor since religion is not really a focus.
Haha, I feel a little silly for even writing a post like this. I am not really sure why I think this is important. Perhaps because I realize this trip is going to change me more than I can possibly imagine right now. It is a watershed event in my life you could say. Also, since religion has been such a huge part of my life right now, it is something I am highly conscious of. My view of the world is about to change astronomically, and I have no idea where my views on religion are going to land. My faith has always been important to me, but lately it has been harder and harder to hold on to, and I don’t want to lose it completely. Being out of the country on a trip with a secular focus, especially during Lent, will be challenging and formative. But then, that is what this trip is about :).

P.S. There is a lot more thought behind this post then I could put in right now. This topic will mostly likely be an ongoing theme throughout the semester as I learn to further appreciate the diversity in our world, and that I my way of viewing the world isn't always the best and may not even be right. (The last point is one of those things that I know, but don't really believe. This semester is going to be one huge reality check. A much need one ;))

La temperatura en Kirksville: 42 F
La temperatura en Panama: 90 F

Vamanos a Panama ahora!

And now for something completely different

AN ISRAEL POST! This was a busy day...
June 6
I got up early to watch the sun rise over the lake that day. It was beautiful. I wish I had had/taken more opportunities to do that. There was a dog that followed me down the beach. I was under the impression he wanted food. I had no food to give him.

Dog and sunrise.

This was an intense day. We saw everything. And hiked Gamla. Crazy. First we went to a place called Jacob’s Ford. There was a crusader fortress which had been built by Baldwin against Saladin. Saladin had offered to pay Baldwin to stop building it, but he refused. Saladin attacked the fortress with great success. He sent sappers in to weaken the walls of the fortress and attacked from both the Northeast and West. He was able to conquer the fortress in less than 5 days – had he taken longer than that, reinforcements would have appeared. This was the place where Kate, one of the archeologists working on our dig, had done work for her Ph.D. It was a treasure trove for bodies apparently. They found many human skeletons and at least 4 horse skeletons. One of the human’s had a cache of 160 coins! That was a really big find.
One of the biggest problems archeologists face is funding. This particular site had an interesting patron for its first couple of years. One of the geological organization (I don’t know exactly which one) funded it for the first few seasons because this site provided important information about the tectonic shifts occurring in Israel. There are two plates in this area (the Jordan River is on the fault line if I recall correctly). The eastern plate is moving to the north while the western plate is staying still. This means that Israel has large earthquakes every 100 years or so (unless it was 300 years or so – not sure). In any case, they are waiting for another big one. This fort is important in studies done about that because it was built along the fault line so there is a crack in the building that indicates how far the plates have moved. Since we know the exact date the fort was built (at least someone does. I am not that someone), we can figure out exactly how far the plates have moved in that given time period. We had to walk through prickly weeds to see the crack. That was an adventure.


The crack caused by the fault line.


Jacob's Ford - this is me trying to avoid getting pricked by the weeds.

Our next stop was supposed to be Qatzrim, but it was closed for Shabbat. It was important for something or other. I don’t remember what.
Next we went to Gamla. Probably one of my favorite spots despite the large amount of walking we did. We walked the ancient trail; the one most tourists DON’T do. It was rocky and steep. We climbed down and then up and then some of us climbed down further to see an extra area. That turned out to be a bad idea on my part. I almost did not make it to the top. I had to stop and pause for a while because my heart rate got a little too high. It was not comfortable, and I did not want to pass out. The view was really pretty when I did finally get there though. (We made the mistake of putting Justin in the front while we were climbing this thing. We didn’t know then how fast he walked…)
The historical significance of Gamla is pretty interesting. It was a place where Jewish people lived to stay away from the Romans. It has great natural defenses (would work well against Zombies), but the Romans were able to overcome them. When the Romans came, the citizens of Gamla ran to the highest point and then threw themselves off the cliff rather than become slaves to the Romans. (Not the choice I would have made, but whatever. I’m not being chased by Romans.) On the way back, we took a break, and I asked Nate read the Hebrew prayer for seeing the beauty of nature. That was pretty cool.

Gamla

After we hiked, we at lunch there and Lauren and I talked with the bus driver. He was a Palestinian Christian (I felt like all the Palestinians I met were Christians. I wonder how that was skewing our vision of what was happening.) Lauren launched into a string of questions about the issues between the Israelis and the Palestinians which he did his best to answer. His children were in private school, a goal most parents seemed to have for their children.
After Gamla, when we were all very tired, we went to two more places that had lots of rocks, Banias and Tel Dan. They are the locations for the streams that feed the Jordan River. Banias is also known as Caesarea Philippi. There were lots of rocks, and Nate got scolded for something or other. I was really tired and hot. That is what I remember most from these places. And we just kept walking. We went to see the waterfall. That was cool except there were more rocks and more stairs, and I had a splinter.
After that we went to Tel Dan. That got to be a bit of a problem because we were on a tight schedule and some of us didn’t get started right away. We had a bit of a communication gap going on during this trip. I was hot, tired and in general had kind of a bad attitude. (I would like to state that everything we did at Tel Dan was completely legal and did not involve sneaking over boarders or Lebanon.) We also went to a scenic lookout via Syrian bunker. That was also pretty cool. THEN, we got to leave. Nate and I booked it out of there whilst everyone else took their time.

Tel Dan - notice the rocks...

After that we got back, and it was time for dinner. I finally met Haley (a girl who had come on Wednesday, but I didn’t get a change to meet until Saturday.) She is really cool. She went to a small, Christian college in Indiana and studied to be a worship leader (kind of like a DCE it sounds like). Pretty much doing what I thought I wanted to do at one point. She had been granted a fellowship to come dig and then she was spending sometime in Jerusalem and then her dad was coming up to visit. (I found out later her mom had died about 5 weeks before she left on this trip.)
That night was probably the best night I spent at the Kibbutz. We went down to the Sea as usual for drinks and conversation. Eventually a group of us ended up sitting in the Sea (on chairs with our feet in the water.) We started out listing our favorite memories from the first week of digging (Elizabeth and Nic were popular answers). Then we decided to have a bible study in which we went around the circle, said what our favorite bible passages were and why. Eventually it dwindled down to Nick, Tony, Nic, Lauren and I in the water and Johnny and Justin on the beach. Later still Nick, Johnny and Justin left. Then the real fun began.
Definitely the best conversation of my life. We talked about so many important things. We shared our struggles and our faith stories. I talked about things I haven’t shared with people all year. Mom’s surgery, all the people who died this year, the time God locked me into my dorm room. It was a liberating and healing experience to talk about God and his faithfulness with these people. I was absolutely not being judged nor was I judging. I was finally comfortable enough to embrace the vulnerability idea that the LSF girls had been harping on. I think being on the “Ocean of Freaken Galilee” with a full moon helped. It was so wonderful to see where these other people were on their faith journey. Tony had come with no expectations faith-wise. He was there as an academic. (This conversation was a pleasant surprise for him.) Nic, on the other hand, is about as far away from academics as you can get. He was there because he heard about the trip from Elizabeth during a Bible Study and “got the bug.” He sold his horse and his dog to get there (though he kept saying he was going to sell them anyway. He was thinking about moving to New Mexico so he may have been telling the truth. He was super humble though; hated talking about himself.) I don’t know what Lauren was expecting, but I know she took away a lot as well.
It was just an intense, overwhelming, but peaceful and calming, beautiful and wonderful time. We sang songs: worship songs, Christmas songs, children’s songs. It was awesome. There was a couple from Germany down there as well and we talked to time for a few minutes before leaving.
The conversation wasn’t completely serious. Nic did give Lauren tips for peeing outside. She actually did. I waited until we were in Jordan to make use of that information…
It was over all really cool. We were out until 1 a.m. and we had to be on the bus by 7 the next day. Yep.

Confessions of a Chronic Overachiever

So I am a huge overachiever, which in this case is resulting in daily blog updates and lots of extra reading for those who are following it. I highly doubt the daily updating will continue too much longer...

But for now you will have to suffer through it. Anyway, today in class we finally got to start going over the academic discipline powerpoints that we created a week ago. We got through 3 out of 7 and I have really enjoyed them so far. My group (history) went first. We tried to connect it to science, which we did by comparing writing a paper to using the scientific method (thanks sciencebuddies.org) to do an experiment. I loved the questions people asked us at the end; it indicated to me that everyone got what we were saying and could relate to what people in our field do. Two biology groups went after that, and again, it became really apparent that everyone going on this trip has the same outlook on learning and how to go about studying the world. The subjects, obviously are different, but each is fueled by desire to know what the world is like and why it is that way. We're all doing the same thing. We make an observation, we question it, test it, answer our question, and then move on to a new question/observation. I AM SO EXCITED TO GO TO PANAMA WITH THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE! Everyone seems so passionate about learning.

Some other observations I made from the biology presentations about how it is similar to history are: it was hard for people to pick one particular aspect of their field that was their 'favorite,' biology majors are as clueless about their futures/future occupations as history majors and stereotypes are as prevalent about that subject as about history. It was exciting to see other people's perspectives, and I am looking forward to the rest of the presentations.

Janurary 20, 2010 (what a boring title...)

Despite my threat in my earlier post, I have decided only to update this blog. That will make everyone's life easier. Plus this blog is way better looking than the other one.

Anyway, today we had our second class period for ENVS. Baillie Cloyd came in to talk about service-learning at Truman. I am glad it is something the University considers to be important. I only wish I had know about opportunities like this earlier in my college career.

I am getting more and more excited about our projects as we get closer to leaving. I am really excited about the brochure for El Cano. I realize I was complaining about this two posts ago, but I went to speak with Dr. Amber Johnson (my project advisor), and now I have a better idea of what I will be doing. Plus I have a partner! I will be working with Angie which should be really cool because we determined we're both kind of at the same place as far as this trip goes. We're both graduating in May, taking Bio 100 and working on the same project. Haha, that sounded way more intense as we were walking Barnett than it does written down... Anyway we are meeting with Megan Dowdy at University Publications to get an idea of what this kind of a project will look like. My idea right now is a tri-fold brochure, but we need to figure out how much text and pictures we can put on it. Those kinds of factors will determine what kind of information we need to gather while we are in Panama.

I also had my first science lab since high school today. It vanquished all my doubts about being a humanities major. Not that it wasn't fun; it is just that having to be as precise as one needs to be during an experiment would cause my anxiety levels to raise way more than they need to. I realize that messing up in a 5-person, 100-level Bio class will not result in death, decapitation, zombie apocalypse, or even a lower grade, but I still get very uneasy if things aren't perfect. Hmmm, that sounds like the definition for Neurosis... Perhaps I need a new slice for my identity pie chart. 100% Neurotic.

On a less Freudian note, I am super excited because Courtney (one of the other girls going on the trip) has lots and lots and lots of STAR TREK on her computer that she is going to bring to PANAMA! It almost makes up for the fact that I will be leaving two weeks after LOST starts. Almost.

Identity

So after sitting through 3.5 hours of class, we finally got through everyone's identity pie charts. (Okay, so the entire time was not devoted to that but still. It was a long class...) This class is incredibly diverse. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone better.

I am trying to remember not to assume too much about people from this assignment. I know from my own experience that what I actually ended up saying in front of the class didn't always convey exactly what I meant. I also wanted to say a lot more to explain what I did say further.

One thing I wanted to include was how my identity is changing. I touched on it a little when I mentioned the philosophical idea that one never reads the same book twice because you change from reading it. (I think the original argument involved a river, but whatever.) Some of the things I put on my chart are things that I actively want to change and others were things that have changed recently or are in the process of changing. It's hard to explain yourself when you don't have yourself figured out yet. It's always an ongoing process.

El Cano

In order to be as annoying as possible, I am going to try to update both this blog and the wordpress blog. The catch is, I won't put the same information on both blogs so you'll have to keep checking both. That is, if you are actually interested enough to read both :)

Anyway, I have been reading the blogs of other people going to Panama and I feel so far behind in my project! Every seems to have a good idea of what they are doing and how they are going to go about doing it. I have a rough outline of what I want to do, but I don't feel like I have enough background information. My current plan is to create an English language guide for the El Cano archeological dig site. Yo preocupo porque mi espanol no es muy bien y toda la informacion esta en espanol. Puedo leer y escribir en espanol mas or menos pero no puedo oir o comprendar muy bien. Mas personas hablan muy rapido. (I promise I am not trying to show off with my Spanish. Just practicing.)

My worries about the project extend beyond just the practically of my Spanish skills. I am also concerned about the size of the project. It just doesn't seem like a very big project. However, considering the other projects I will be working on (helping with La MICA's advertising, Bio 100 Labs and helping with the other ENVS projects), I am sure it will be just fine. Plus, it isn't like anyone knows what to expect from this experience. This has never been done before so there is nothing to measure success or failure against. I just need to stop worrying, do my best, and go from there.

Since I have already gotten ahead of myself, let me go back and explain how this semester is going to work for those who don't know. Truman State University is trying out a new service learning opportunity. The way it works is that those of us who are going on this trip are all enrolled in a set group of classes. Everyone is enrolled in ENVS Selected Topic: Panama Experience and JINS Race and Ethnicity. 4 of the 22 (including myself) are enrolled in Biology 100 while the rest of the class is in a Latin American History class. All of us are also getting credit for another class, in my case Anthropology: Archeology in Panama. We are all doing a group project as part of our ENVS class and an individual project for whatever extra class we are getting credit for. My ENVS project will be working with a group of girls to help with advertising and fund raising for La MICA, the biology research station where we will be staying while in Panama. (Check out the website at http://www.lamica.org/). My individual project is the one I was complaining about two paragraphs ago.

Anyway, this semester will be frustrating because I am working without precedents to follow, but I will be learning to step outside my comfort zone. Which is exactly what this semester is about :)

June 5

(Picture of my friend Amy and I at the Pub)

Not such a good day. Called home in the morning, but didn’t get a hold of my parents. I was having a really hard time with the phone card, but finally got through to my mom’s cell phone. At that point I was no longer able to deny that I had missed grandpa’s funeral because I was out of the country. I asked mom why they weren’t at home, and she said, “We’re in Kirksville, sweetie.” I had figured out that might have happened but had done a pretty good job of telling myself that perhaps it hadn’t. Oh well. So it goes.
So that was not a particularly good start to my day. After that, I slid down the wall of our dig site, Elizabeth stepped on my hand and some kid dropped a rock on my foot. I was also a little afraid that Rami was going to move me to a different site. Laura and Michaela had been moved because their locus wasn’t yielding anything. Nick from Truman got moved. I wasn’t doing a whole lot of work that day since I wasn’t feeling very good about life. I was mostly standing around taking buckets from the diggers to the sifters and back again. (Nic and Lauren had taken over sifting for the day.) So, I wasn’t in a very good mood, and a few people picked up on it. Nic did and tried to make me feel better, but it didn’t work very well. I really just didn’t want to be around people so during breakfast I went down and weeded the Nebraska chapel area.
I got annoyed again later on because we had to clean up early and go around to all the other dig loci for show and tell. Each group told us what they were doing at their sites and what they had found. I did not want to go. I walked with Lauren and Nic who were calling me Hannah Montana, but I walked quietly enough with my “I am going to be patient with you and you had better appreciate it” look. They did try to cheer me up, which was as successful as possible considering the circumstances.
After digging that day I went swimming in the Sea of Galilee and then sat around talking to people for a while. Since my day had been pretty crappy, I wasn’t too surprised that my head felt terrible during dinner. I took a short nap before we all headed over the Kibbutz Pub. That was definitely an interesting experience. I don’t really like drinking too much so I wasn’t there for the alcohol. I was hoping to dance, but when we first got there, nobody really wanted to do much other than sit around and drink. Eventually Amber got Nic to swing dance with her, and when she was finished, I danced with him a little bit. I taught him how to waltz. To a rap song. That was interesting… We had to be up early to go site-seeing the next day, so I left with the first group who headed out

June 4 (Israel)

Another day at the dig. Ate breakfast with Hanan, Nic, Elizabeth and Dr. Appold. Hanan asked what my name was and I told him it was Hanna. He said, “That’s not Japanese.” I said, “no, it’s Hebrew.” He tried teaching me Japanese again and said I should know the language of my heritage. I told him I was mostly German. He told me the Japanese genes show through and turns to Elizabeth and says “Isn’t she beautiful?” to which Elizabeth replied, “well of course she is beautiful. And intelligent and hard working.” And Dr. Appold chimes in with, “I can attest to that.” It was nice ego-boosting experience.
By this time, Lauren and I were being made fun of for not having found Q yet. One of the Loci (5714) on our site was closed because they weren’t finding much. Our other Locus (5715) was split into two loci because the dirt was different colors. The lighter dirt was more ancient, according to Rami. We found a Roman pin that day which supposedly came from my bucket. Elizabeth had quite an interesting story about what the Roman soldier was doing with the woman whose bead we found in locus 5714…
We took a field trip down to a small chapel area. It was really pretty. It was donated to area by the Archdiocese of Nebraska. It had been built around the same time as the chapel area donated by the Vatican so it was not used as much. It was also off the beaten track so people didn’t know it was there. It was made because once there was a group of blind pilgrims that came to visit Bethsaida (because that is where Jesus healed the blind man on the outskirts of town.) The Israeli tour guides, however, did not allow the people to pray at the site. This story reached the ears of some higher ups in the Catholic Church so they did something about it. The chapel area is pretty cool because you have to walk past a Syrian bunker to get down there. (Goes along with all the sardine cans we kept finding.) Elizabeth was not happy because there were lots of weeds, and no one ever did anything about it.
So, on this trip there was a little boy named Finn whom I shall take this opportunity to talk about. He was pretty much adorable, and everyone loved him. Mostly because he was the only person under 18, and he had everyone wrapped around his little finger. He had this huge sombrero that he wore all the time so he looked like a little Mexican running around (except that he had blond hair and blue eyes. At this point in the trip, he was pretty quiet, but that would change all too soon…
Despite the fact that pottery reading was optional, I decided to go that day anyway. I ended up with a job. I turned the light for the photo box on and off for Hanan. Nic ran the pieces to the other side of the table for bagging. It was good times.

A New Post

While I am in Panama I am required to update my blog weekly, so I will be better about letting everyone know what I am doing. If you would like to read it, go to http://air.truman.edu/panama/ and click on my name in the list on the right.